Confession:

I feel as though I lose track of who I am, more often than needed, and there is really no one else to blame for this besides myself. I get caught up in the moment and then I get comfortable there. I think. I scream at myself sometimes, inside you know? It's true. Moron! Idiot! Insane! Bitch! Loser! Ugly! Chicken shit--you name it, I think it, and then I scream it. I keep thinking the older I get that somehow I'm finally just going to accept myself, but it doesn't work that way...Someone should have told me that. What am I lacking? Why am I not happy? Why don't I love me? If I really loved me, I would have never, and I mean never had done this to me. Only a sick person would do that. When did I forget to love me?